Week 14

 

Core blimey Mary Poppins; it’s a 2½ pounds loss this week! And I have absolutely no idea why. I walked less, swam less, ate more and drank more and consequently prayed more before I got on the scales.

A higher intake of alcohol or food, I believe, can always be blamed on either friends or hormones or both.  Let us start with friends and how they can lure you into drinking.  Last Friday I was invited by my lovely friend Val to go to hers for a sleepover after another friends ‘Pampered Chef Party’ in Chertsey.  A night of freedom without the family was just perfect.  One bottle of fizzy wine packed in the bag for when we got back from the cookery demonstration, to be consumed in piggy jammies whilst watching David Attenborough.  Plan in place.

So off we went to Chertsey first.  From the moment we set foot into the P. Chef party it became apparent that this was not going to be just a normal cookery demonstration.  In fact, a quick scan across the room and into the kitchen revealed a whole surface of open wine bottles in every colour which made me think we had arrived at a wine tasting instead.  Within moments I had a full large glass in my hand and was ready to play. It just would have been so rude not to.

It wasn’t long after our arrival, that the P. Chef lady began her cookery demonstration.  She was constantly adjusting her notes and pitch to utilise the full marketing potential of her audience by incorporating the fact that over half of the group were pickled and also devoid of any cooking ability.  Still, I think that the evening was a wonderful success all round as lots of happy, boozy people and lots of order forms being filled in.  And on top of everything else, I learnt that smiley faces wouldn’t burn in a stoneware tray.

So back to Val’s for the sleepover after consuming at least 3 large glasses of wine at the party only then to follow it all up at midnight by opening the bottle of bubbly wine and eating a bowl of pasta in front of ‘Africa’. Perfick.  See what I mean, friends are such a terrible influence.

So moving onto hormones. I suppose that I could blame it on low blood sugar from the night before but I 'know' it was a combination of hormones as well.  By 3 o’clock the next day I had the most unimaginable cravings and found myself engaged in a full on fridge raid. I can only liken the experience to one of Dawn French’s fabulous scenes in the Vicar of Dibley where she came face to face with a chocolate fountain and her famous words were "I am going in" as she placed her head in the middle of the cascading chocolate.  Well, in a similar fashion, I swung the fridge door open and dived in.  Nothing was safe, especially the wine and the cheese.  Blinkered, I was oblivious to the Slimming World stickers on the front of the fridge and like a tsunami, I became an unstoppable, an out of control force..... "‘NASA’ I think we have a problem".    And yet still I lost weight this week.  Maybe my raids now are nowhere near as destructive as they used to be or maybe subconsciously something is sinking in or maybe, heaven forbid, it will all show in next weeks weigh in. In which case I may have to pray a little harder.

So just before we close this week my little chicka dees, I have a little abstract thought for you.  Last week we discovered that our Beano had fleas.  Easy to treat by applying a few drops of frontline to the back of his neck.  So simple. So why, oh, why has somebody not yet invented a similar treatment for nits? Any mums that have engaged in the involuntary sport of nit extraction will know exactly where I am coming from.   

So....drum roll please.... Twenty six pounds lost, forty four pounds and counting. Sx

 

 

 

Week 13

Half a pound off, my little slimming chicka dees.  Again, I thought it might have been slightly more but we are still going in the right direction.  Sadly no Spa Weekend to report back to you as lots of the fluffy white stuff getting in the way but re-booked for March. So as my sister says ‘we can look forward to it all over again!’ 

Here is a quick summary of my weight loss to date. It made me feel better to do this just to remind myself how it all adds up even with only a ½lb loss.

Week 1	+ 70lbs
Week 2	-6
Week 3	-1½
Week 4	-3
Week 5	-1
Week 6	-3
Week 7	-2
Week 8	-1
Week 9	-2
Week 10	-2½
Week 11	+1
Week 12	-2
Week 13	-½
To date	-23½

 

On a very positive note, I have definitely made a more conscious effort to walk further this week – which is probably why I feel slightly disappointed in the weight loss. The truth is that I have always enjoyed walking but as my weight began to increase, it became more and more uncomfortable and, to be honest, not a pleasure at all.  Anyway, this week, to help me stride out, I decided to invest in some new fandangle head phones to attach to my iPod.  Not the nasty ones that sit in your ears collecting ear wax or the foamy lined ones that slip off your ears but a super duper pair of extra large, extra padded ones.  In fact, they are not dissimilar to the ones that aircraft technicians use to guide aircrafts on-jetty at Heathrow.   Apart from the great sound, they keep my ears really warm under my woolly hat and if that means that I look like Princess Leia from Star Wars wandering around the village then, so be it. 

A slight continuation from last week...but I would still like to know how my body decides where and when it is going to burn my fat from as there is still no visible indication of fat loss from my upper hemisphere. Maybe, just maybe, there is a little army of people running around inside of me in a military fashion deciding;

“hmmmm ok chaps! This is operation fat burn, troops already deployed for tummy and buttocks area but our main challenge presents itself north of the belly button.  Battalion to re-group for debriefs on fat burn strategy and then to deploy north to push forward through the enemy lines.....we may need to dig in for sometime boys ...but remember.... this body needs you and we need to win the battle to win the war.”

Ok, possibly not, so maybe my body is similar to that of a camel where it believes that my two pointy things should only be utilised for an energy source in the extreme state of emergency or possibly famine. I guess that is just one of life’s little mysteries.

So, whether you loved it or hated it, it flurried down and the world became covered in the soft, white fluffy stuff and therein came my monumental challenge of putting on wellie boots.  If you are slim then this will mean nothing to you but should you have a roundish tummy and bigger than average boobs, then maybe you will be able to relate to my little challenge.  I can only put on my wellies if I hang on to an inanimate object, person or both – not that I know of many inanimate people, if you know what I mean.

Another snowy antic this week that really, really made me belly laugh included a photograph of my two ‘older’ nieces (who are both in their 20s) who found that sledging on an inflatable pink lilo bed was the way to go. Oh just priceless and you thought I was the only one who was a little mad. 

A few weeks ago, I mentioned the towels at the spa that were rather skimpy and that I could measure my weight loss by how far they would go round me.  Well, I have found the best measuring sticks ever...my girls.  They both put their arms around my waist (yes, I think I almost have one now) and they both said that they can not only touch their hands across my back but that they can hold their wrists on the other side.  Now, I have to say, that works for me on every level.

So as we stride into the latter parts of January 2013, I feel very positive. Whether this journey takes me half a pound a week or more, I will chip away at the weight loss and get where I need to be. I realise I am not perfect (please do not tell my husband) but I am just normal. It was never going to be a race or a new revelation in the dieting world; it was always going to be just a plod in the right direction with the right map.

And so to finish this week’s blog my wonderful chicka dees, I must declare that a minor miracle happened in our household this week.  Wait for it....  Somebody (other than I) changed the toilet roll in the downstairs loo.   http://www.bbc.co.uk/sing/hallelujah/

A monumental moment in the woodentops household and one to saviour.

So twenty three and a half a pound of fat gone, forty six and a half pound of fat to go Sx

P.s A huge apology to all of my teacher friends reading this, two of you already to MA standard and each of you, I am sure, itching to correct my interpretations of the English language.  Will love you all forever if you proof read my little book (before publication) and not cover my blogs in lots of red biro.  Huge love Sxx

 

 

 

 

 

Week 12

Oh yes!  2lbs off and back on the diet freeway my little chicka dees!

Two pairs of jeans too baggy and in the charity box and lots of old ‘apple catching’ pants in the bin.  Surprisingly no tops or bras relegated to the charity box which means my shape is changing in a most peculiar fashion.  I might as well just buy a blonde curly wig, take up country singing and you can call me Dolly.

Also, I now have hip bones.  Oh yes, I found them the other morning whilst lying on my back in bed.  I breathed in and there they were.  Admittedly they are not so easy to detect whilst in the standing position when nature pulls everything south but I know that they are there and that is all that matters.

If you have been on facebook this week you may have seen my wall post sharing our rather eventful shopping trip to Guildford where my eldest and I were confronted by two unexpected exposed willies on platform 4.  Certainly it was a surprise - as it was so cold.  Although my lovely Annie was hugely embarrassed to start off with, I think it has been her main topic of conversation at school as she has been laughing about it ever since.  Now, if I had been on my own and this had happened I could have appeared shocked on the outside only to smile wryly to myself on the inside, thinking how well my diet was going and that I was worthy of a flashing in public.  On a more serious note though and following a sighting by a friend’s son, I believe that both men were arrested by the British Transport Police at the next station (so no point in booking a day return just for myself again next week then).

A quick re-visit to the bucket list, with a few changes.

14lbs   Treatment at Old Thorns   Mum & Sister spa night away This Saturday!	21lbs   Walk from Hayling Island to Emsworth (without oxygen)	28lbs   5 Mile Cycle Challenge	34lbs   First Horse Riding Lesson	38lbs   London and the Theatre	42lbs   25 mile LIDBA Bike Ride (June 2013) raising money for www.harrisonsfund.com
50lbs   London and Afternoon Tea at Claridges.... with the girlies	52lbs   Drop down the highest red slide at play zone Portsmouth	60lbs   Flight on Warbird at Goodwood (Have wanted to do this forever!)	62lbs   Synchronised Swimming with Sister. Venue TBA  (suggest Maldives, Bahamas etc)	65lbs   Western Horse Riding Day in the New Forest	68lbs   Family Go-Karting session at Farnborough (Should be able to fit into a Kart by now).
					70lbs The  Holiday

 

So the first of the Bucket List rewards to be completed this Saturday with the help of Mum and Sister as we indulge ourselves in a spa treatment weekend with fizzy bubbles (if you know what I mean).  Also it’s time to plan my walk from Hayling Island to Emsworth which I shall give you more details on next week.  As far as the cycling challenge is concerned, Alan pumped up my tyres and it snowed so that put pay to that.

Can you really believe it my little chicka dees? We are already at week 12.  A total weight loss of 23lbs, and now forty seven pounds and counting. Sx

Week 11

Hmmm, a little blip, 1lb on.  Ok, I have just returned from a week in sunny Tenerife so I should be thankful it is only a pound but the truth is I didn’t put the weight on until I got back. For at least 3 days of my holiday I was hit with the delightful flu type bug that is doing the rounds.  The only benefit of this scenario was that I didn’t feel like eating or drinking.  The morning after we got back into the UK I weighed myself and was delighted to find I was on track with a couple of pounds off.  Hurrah and how clever I am to go on holiday and not put on half a stone.  This sense of euphoria slightly overflowed and for the next 3 days I enjoyed finishing off the port and the lump of stilton in the fridge and just about anything else I thought I could get away with.  Absolutely stupid.  And to top it all, last night after weigh in and after my first gain, I finished the wine that was open on the side and hit the fridge again.  Even more stupid.  So battery removed from scales in the bathroom and re-focused like you cannot believe.  I went for an extra long swim this morning and am now back in the zone despite losing a contact lens and winking at everybody as I left the building and also to all on-coming traffic during the drive home. I know it is only a pound but it is a pound in the wrong direction and it makes me feel uneasy.

So back to the holiday which was lovely except for the sickness bit.  I should have realised I was going down with something because my patience level on boarding the plane was rather low.  Firstly, the plane was so full to capacity that it was a bit of a bun fight getting to the back where I had booked our seats  (I booked these seats specifically because a recent TV program confirmed it was the safest place to sit, especially if the aircraft drops 30 thousand feet into water).  So after the most disorganised embarkation ever, I made it into my rather snug aisle seat, adjusted my seat belt and strapped myself in -  although to be honest the seat belt was probably surplus to requirement  as my backside was already wedged in firmly and not likely to budge even if we did drop 30 thousand feet into water.  So as comfortable as I possibly could be I waited intently for the safety briefing, only to be rudely interrupted by a last minute male passenger rushing to his seat who didn’t believe that the hand baggage allowance applied to him.   The only space left in the overhead lockers was above me.  It was all he could do to lift the case above his head whilst trying to ram his overweight, over sized bag into the space left while at the same time thrusting his groin backwards and forwards, only a few inches from my face.  My glare and intermittent growling said it all.

So the flu hit with a vengeance and poor Alan hiked out looking for drugs with our youngest.  Three hours later (no, I am not kidding), two beer stops and two wee stops later he eventually managed to find a pharmacy open.  Part of this magical mystery tour included a one kilometre walk down the TF1 motorway only to discover the next day that there was a pharmacy open just around the corner from where we were staying.

Anyway, later in the week, when I was feeling a bit better, we took the girls to the Siam Water Park.  Alan went off and enjoyed the rides whilst I enjoyed my favourite past time of people watching.  There is no room to hide any of your attributes at a water park as you have to parade around with just your swimwear on.  I felt like a fat old woman in my ‘safe, firm support, black wedgie swimming costume whilst others glided around in beautiful bikinis and brightly coloured cossies.  Of course, not everybody got it right.  Skimpy leopard print bikinis should never be worn by anybody carrying more than one ounce of extra weight and English men should never ever wear budgie smugglers.  That’s the law.

So a huge mixture of feelings this week and a lot of mistakes made.  I think this may be one of the hardest weeks yet.  Hello 2013, twenty one pounds of fat gone, forty nine pounds to go. Sx