Week 2

Six pounds lost!  A proper six pounds.  I weighed in wearing similar clothes and I didn’t starve myself all day hoping for a better weight loss.  I deliberately did not weigh myself at home and so was slightly nervous getting on the scales.  I was hoping for a couple of pounds and if I hadn’t lost weight I would have used the excuse that I ate more carbohydrates this week than I can ever remember.  Having read, the Atkins Diet and the Idiot Proof Diet more than once, I programmed my brain into thinking that pasta, potatoes and rice were the enemy.  Not any more, my fear of carbohydrates are now out of the window. I guess this is what they call a balanced diet.  Mind you I have consumed more baked beans, pulses and vegetables than ever before and that, of course, has provided me with challenges of a different kind.

I was trying to think of words to describe my approach to this first week and I think they have to be ‘trust and honesty’. You almost have to take and leap of faith and trust the slimming world eating plan and all the advice given to you and not fall back into the mind set of ‘I know best’.  My ‘I know best’s have always ended in failure.  My second word,’honesty’ is simple.  Be honest to yourself with what you are eating.  There was almost a weak moment over the last couple of days when a rather delicious looking left over trifle was calling from the fridge.  It would have been so easy to have eaten it, washed up the dish and pretended it wasn’t there in the first place.

If you have been forever on a constant diet like me and are still overweight, I am sure that you will know where your weakness lies and what your sabotage, comfort, stress foods are.  After talking to a couple of my girlies, chocolate, cheese and alcohol seem to come top of the list either individually or if it is a really good night, all three together in whatever order they fall. My downfall is definitely wine.  Any colour really and any region and anytime.  The trouble is, as we all know, after consuming a few glasses, the willpower ceases and the non logic head steps in which leads to munching through all the naughty stuff as well.  The day after (normally without a good nights sleep) I used to feel just Yuk. My blood sugar was on the floor, I felt bloated and my body craved any form of sugar to get its engine running again.  And so the cycle began again.

I made a conscious decision not to drink during our village carnival night this Saturday. There were a number of friend’s not drinking alcohol due to being designated drivers so I certainly wasn’t alone in my decision. Not touching the wine helped me stay in complete control for the evening and undoubtedly enabled me to be a better hostess.  I certainly remembered a lot more than in previous years!  This then meant that it was easier for me to stay away from all of the snacks and desserts and cheeses.  Now I really do feel very grown up and righteous!

I didn’t spend the whole week alcohol free, however.  Oh no, I know me.  If I say no alcohol for 6 months until I lose the weight I will immediately run to the wine rack and open the first bottle I find.  I had a couple of glasses of red wine on Sunday with my Sunday lunch and I really, really enjoyed them. 

So week 1 is over.  Bring on week two.  Sixty four pounds and counting. Sx

Week one

Seventy pounds and counting is pretty much what it says on the tin.  I have been on the dieting roller coaster for so many years and have tried every diet you can possibly name and am now, after 30 years of dieting, am heavier than I have ever been before. 

I have been putting on weight gradually over the last few years and yet for some reason I have been blissfully unaware of the increase in my physical appearance.  In my denial, I look in the mirror, sideways when dressed, breathing in and think that I haven't really changed that much.  It is only when an unsuspecting photograph appears that the truth is really in the proof.

I have to admit though; there were a couple of real eye openers this summer.  Not being comfortable in my shorts, swimming costume or summer clothes in general was the first alarm bell and then on a more subtle footing, getting my bottom stuck in the chairoplanes at Chessington.  It really was the most uncomfortable ride when I squeezed into the seat and then the most embarrassing when the ride stopped.  The platform rose, I stood up and the seat was still firmly wedged on my derriere.  In addition to this, I almost had an embarrassing  experience on the  Vampire ride which has a drop down harness which clicks into place.  Two attempts and my boobs ended up east and west and almost acting as ear muffs.  Another lady who got on the ride before me wasn’t so lucky and embarrassingly had to get off the ride as her harness would not lock into place.  I couldn’t help feeling that, that could be me next year.

So for some reason the light bulb just went off this week and the realisation of my size hit me very hard.  I woke up in a fat suit and the desperation hit with a vengeance.  So much so that sitting on my desk, now, I now have a beautiful information pack from a reputable London Clinic who specialise in gastric bands.  I could have an appointment with one of their consultants next week with probable surgery in the next three weeks.  And it would only cost £4995.00!  When I received the pack, it just seemed like ‘the solution’ I was looking for.  I know that surgery is a bit extreme but desperate times call for desperate measures.  I have tried all of the diets, Rosemary Connolly, weight watchers, slimming world, lighter life, The Cambridge diet, Lipotrim, Atkins, the Idiot Proof Diet (it clearly wasn’t) and even tried a selection of the Chinese weight loss teas which are rather nice for dunking bourbons in. As much as a gastric band might be ‘the’ solution, the guilt is overwhelming on the money side.  That amount of money could go towards so many things for the family.  Heart and head in disagreement.

Lucky for me, fate played a part and stepped in.  I discovered via a facebook post that a friend who lives in the village, whom I haven’t seen for a while, has lost four stone since April of this year with our local slimming world club.  A couple of facebook posts and lots of encouragement later and I am going to join again.  Now, as I have already said, I tried Slimming World some time ago and was unsuccessful. I just didn’t stick to it and made excuses at the weigh in every time.  My theory is that you have to be “in the zone” for any diet to work.  You have to get out of your bubble and get ‘in the zone’. And here I am for the first time in many years getting “in the zone” and already I am beginning to feel in control again.

This Tuesday at 5.30pm I walked our Slimming world. I didn’t feel uncomfortable at all even though I was definitely one of the heaviest in the room.  In fact, I felt quite relieved knowing that the numbers on the scales for the first dreaded weigh in, would never be that high again.

So here we go. Seventy pounds is my target to lose.  For the first time ever I am not pressurising myself with a timeline for an important event or holiday.  I am just going be sensible.  I know that recording my progress with a blog will help keep me motivated and build the story of my journey. I am also hoping that I may pick up some fellow weight loss colleagues in the process. 

I aim to update my weight loss each week.  Any supportive bloggs most welcome! I have seventy pounds and counting. x