Week one

Seventy pounds and counting is pretty much what it says on the tin.  I have been on the dieting roller coaster for so many years and have tried every diet you can possibly name and am now, after 30 years of dieting, am heavier than I have ever been before. 

I have been putting on weight gradually over the last few years and yet for some reason I have been blissfully unaware of the increase in my physical appearance.  In my denial, I look in the mirror, sideways when dressed, breathing in and think that I haven't really changed that much.  It is only when an unsuspecting photograph appears that the truth is really in the proof.

I have to admit though; there were a couple of real eye openers this summer.  Not being comfortable in my shorts, swimming costume or summer clothes in general was the first alarm bell and then on a more subtle footing, getting my bottom stuck in the chairoplanes at Chessington.  It really was the most uncomfortable ride when I squeezed into the seat and then the most embarrassing when the ride stopped.  The platform rose, I stood up and the seat was still firmly wedged on my derriere.  In addition to this, I almost had an embarrassing  experience on the  Vampire ride which has a drop down harness which clicks into place.  Two attempts and my boobs ended up east and west and almost acting as ear muffs.  Another lady who got on the ride before me wasn’t so lucky and embarrassingly had to get off the ride as her harness would not lock into place.  I couldn’t help feeling that, that could be me next year.

So for some reason the light bulb just went off this week and the realisation of my size hit me very hard.  I woke up in a fat suit and the desperation hit with a vengeance.  So much so that sitting on my desk, now, I now have a beautiful information pack from a reputable London Clinic who specialise in gastric bands.  I could have an appointment with one of their consultants next week with probable surgery in the next three weeks.  And it would only cost £4995.00!  When I received the pack, it just seemed like ‘the solution’ I was looking for.  I know that surgery is a bit extreme but desperate times call for desperate measures.  I have tried all of the diets, Rosemary Connolly, weight watchers, slimming world, lighter life, The Cambridge diet, Lipotrim, Atkins, the Idiot Proof Diet (it clearly wasn’t) and even tried a selection of the Chinese weight loss teas which are rather nice for dunking bourbons in. As much as a gastric band might be ‘the’ solution, the guilt is overwhelming on the money side.  That amount of money could go towards so many things for the family.  Heart and head in disagreement.

Lucky for me, fate played a part and stepped in.  I discovered via a facebook post that a friend who lives in the village, whom I haven’t seen for a while, has lost four stone since April of this year with our local slimming world club.  A couple of facebook posts and lots of encouragement later and I am going to join again.  Now, as I have already said, I tried Slimming World some time ago and was unsuccessful. I just didn’t stick to it and made excuses at the weigh in every time.  My theory is that you have to be “in the zone” for any diet to work.  You have to get out of your bubble and get ‘in the zone’. And here I am for the first time in many years getting “in the zone” and already I am beginning to feel in control again.

This Tuesday at 5.30pm I walked our Slimming world. I didn’t feel uncomfortable at all even though I was definitely one of the heaviest in the room.  In fact, I felt quite relieved knowing that the numbers on the scales for the first dreaded weigh in, would never be that high again.

So here we go. Seventy pounds is my target to lose.  For the first time ever I am not pressurising myself with a timeline for an important event or holiday.  I am just going be sensible.  I know that recording my progress with a blog will help keep me motivated and build the story of my journey. I am also hoping that I may pick up some fellow weight loss colleagues in the process. 

I aim to update my weight loss each week.  Any supportive bloggs most welcome! I have seventy pounds and counting. x