Week 33

Following a very euphoric last week, this week I am on the floor. 3lb on.  An unhealthy relationship with wine and food and the sudden death of my friend over the weekend. I am actually sitting here with a very heavy heart, in tears and feeling pathetically sorry for myself, drinking a very large glass of wine. The cheddars are in a bowl to my right and as much as I know I shouldn’t be eating them, in some ridiculous way they are helping. I know that this is going to be the beginning of a fridge raid of some description and the wine bottle will be empty before I go to bed.  I wish I could be a grown up in these situations but I simply fall to pieces.

To fuel the sympathy fire, I am remembering all of the beautiful people that have been part of my life and the people who still are and who mean so much to me. I am on a doughy roller coaster of emotions and deliberately wallowing to try and understand it all.  I lost somebody.  A whole somebody who didn’t figure in my day to day routine but who was, for 8 years, a part of my life.

He was the Woolworth’s in my John Lewis circle and my dodgy diamond in the set.  He was also the single parent who spent every penny he earned on his 14 year old son.  He fought for and won sole custody despite a brief holiday, courtesy of Her Majesties Service. Oh yes, he turned it all around.

So, the bottle is now empty, the fridge raid is over and my eyes look like puffy mascara stained Yorkshire Puddings. Knowing that I have added to my 3lb weight gain this week makes me feel even worse and I realise that this could be the one situation that could seriously unravel my focus.

Through watery eyes, I take my Slimming World Book out of my handbag and place it on the kitchen work surface.  One day at a time.

Goodnight my friend.

Sx